Friday, November 25, 2005

A heart-warming holiday story

posted by Rob at 8:58 AM

Much love this Thanksgiving to the sports poet Might MJD for his short story, Thanksgiving with Terrell and Drew:
Terrell stood up from the table, his eyes shut tightly, his body overcome with the spirit of perhaps not God, but some less noble, more childish force. "LORD, I ASK YOU, WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS MAN? PLEASE GUIDE ME, LORD. PLEASE ADVISE ME ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS EVIL MAN, LORD. SHOULD I FIRE HIM, LORD?"

#81's Personal Chef cupped his hands over his mouth, and in a low, booming, whisper, said, "Don't fire him. Kill him."

Rosenhaus's head snapped in the direction of #81's Personal Chef, and this time, his loss of bladder control was not temporary. Drew Rosenhaus had peed all over himself.

"I will do thy bidding, Lord," Terrell Owens said, in a trance reminiscent of the one that took control of Reggie Jackson is The Naked Gun. "I will kill Drew Rosenhaus, Lord." Terrell finally opened his eyes and took a few steps towards the small, cowering, man.

Rosenhaus jumped up from his seat, pointed at #81's Personal Chef and shouted, "HE SAID THAT!"

Terrell looked at #81's Personal Chef, who yelled, "I AIN'T SAID SHIT," while jumping up and down in pure glee. "IT WAS GOD, NEGRO!" #81's Personal Chef handed Terrell a large carving knife.


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